Without Her I'd be Nothing
by SophieLovesPLL
Summary: Ezra and Aria are no longer together. Picks up after 3x24. One shot.


It's been one month. One month since she told me to move on, since I told her I just wanted her to be happy. Sitting on that wooded bench, tears trickling down her face. It broke my heart to hear her say the things she had to say. It's only been thirty-one days but it feels like infinity.

I would never go back on my word. I still want what's best for her, for her to be happy. But I don't think I have ever felt such a loss. It would be selfish of me to go back. To guilt her and tell her how much I love her after all this time.

Over the last month I've realised the best way to appreciate something is to live without it for a while. But I'm not sure how long this while will be for.

I think about her all the time. What she could be doing at this moment. If she's thinking about me. Does she miss me as much as I her. I've heard she's moved on. Gossip travels fast around this little town. Thirty-one days is not enough to forget the feelings and memories. But maybe she'd lost them well before and I had just never noticed.

I think about it. What it would be like if I had never met her. I would have never experienced such love. Love that inspires and controls all at once. I would have never witnessed such beauty, not just physically. We shared—share—many of the same interests and she could make me smile, always. Without her I wouldn't be who I am today. I would be a teacher who had never experienced the beauty of Aria Montgomery. But I would also be a man who had never experienced such pain in his heart.

I don't show it. I carry on day by day, normal routine minus Aria. All that's left is the memories we shared. Her clothes were picked up, when I wasn't home. I was mad that I didn't get a chance to hide a t-shirt or a scarf. Her smell still fresh, but soon it would turn to my smell which would be nothing at all.

The bell on the door jingled and I looked up. Her hair had grown in the last month. Past her shoulder now. She still wore her funky clothes and big earrings. She didn't see me, walking to a table near the back. She pecked the man on the lips and sat down in front of him. My nostrils flared with jealousy. I shouldn't have been jealous. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to enjoy life and smile without worries, but I wanted her to do it with me.

Looking down at my newspaper I carried on reading. Every word was just a blur as I thought about the love of my life sitting across the room with another man. A man who made her happy, something I could not do.

Slipping my jacket on and drinking back the rest of my coffee. I looked up one last time to Aria's table. She had headed to the bathroom. I made a beeline towards the table with the man I had yet to know his name.

I cleared my throat. "Hi." I wasn't sure exactly what I was doing or going to say.

"Can I help you?" The man looked up at me and smiled shyly.

I extended my hand, "Ezra." He took it and replied in a deep voice. "Jake."

"I see you're here with an Aria Montgomery?" I asked or more like stated and he nodded bleakly.

"Don't hurt her..." I said sternly. "I mean.. Just... she's been through a lot in the past and you shouldn't hurt her. She's an amazing person and you should cherish and love her. Don't treat like every other girl. She's one of a kind."

The man shook his head, his eyes wide. "I would never. I haven't been with anyone in a while and Aria's made it really easy. She's different and I will treat her with only the best." He smiled. "You are the ex?"

I nodded, "If you do anything to hurt her or even upset her I will kill you myself. You don't realise how lucky you are to have her." I said through gritted teeth. I shook his hand tightly once more before exiting out of the coffee shop. Not daring to look back at what I once had.

Once you have feeling for someone, those feelings will never go away. You may not like them anymore, but you will always still care. I knew Aria would always care. It gave me a false state of hope. That maybe one day she would realise she still cares and come back. Realise that we are meant to get married, have lots of children and grow old together.

Since I met Aria my future had always involved her. Every sweet kiss we shared, reminded me of how much I wanted to marry her. Every time we became one it reminded me of how much I wanted a family with her. Every time she smiled it reminded me of how lucky I was. I had imagined forever with Aria. I wanted an infinity with her, but I could not be selfish. I had to do what was right. Even if I didn't want to.

There's a famous quote that says 'if you love something set it free and if it comes back it was truly meant.' Aria and I were truly meant to be and I still believe she'll come back and we can have our infinity together.

I made my way back to rosewood high school to get ready for my next class. I had headed out for lunch as had Aria.

Walking down the corridor I passed Ella, she smiled and asked how I was, I said I was great and walked on to my classroom. I think she's noticed I'm not myself. There's only so many people you can fool and Ella Montgomery was not one of them. She would ask how I was daily. It wouldn't be in the polite daily gesture a lot of us use. It would be more "how are you holding up without Aria?" She was waiting for me to crack. To break down and tell her that I miss Aria and want her back. That I love her and can't live without her. But I couldn't do that. I wanted Aria to be happy, that's all that matters.

My class started to fill in and I looked down at my role. This was Aria's class. A class that I hated to teach.

_Walking into my classroom late, she set the form down on my desk and took her seat second row from the window. Taking out her book and flicking to a random page. I picked up the form and red a bright red stamp that said declined. I looked up and met her eyes. I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her it would be okay that we can work through it together. But I couldn't. Because they would be lies and that would be dumb._

The bell rang and I wrote something on the board. Trying to not think about her. But every time I looked out at the students my eyes always came to land her beautiful big ones. A sad smile played on her lips. The class dragged and by the end I was emotionally exhausted. The students left but Aria lingered.

She walked up to my desk and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

I looked at her confused. "For what?"

"You know." She nodded and I nodded too. Jake obviously told her and she was saying thank you.

"Just because you're with someone else, doesn't mean I don't care." I said softly.

"I know. Thank you." She said again.

"You're welcome." I reply.

She nodded. Wordlessly I gathered my papers and left the classroom the only thought stopping me from telling her everything I felt inside was that I knew I would have her again.


End file.
